


Snobaz Oneshots

by Fwufferson



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: But I wont, I APOLOGIZE, I should probably make these separate works, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Some Will Be Short, a lot of fluff, also, because that takes effort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fwufferson/pseuds/Fwufferson
Summary: Just a bunch of Snobaz Oneshots, like the title suggests.





	1. Laser Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the U.S. causes a bit of fun to break out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to let you know it physically pains me to write these summaries.

At first, when Penny suggested to do something while the three were visiting Micah, Simon was excited. He wanted to learn more about the states than just what he got from the crappy crime shows. Baz, on the other hand, wasn't as keen to the idea. Though, he went along with little gripping after a little persuading on Simon's part.

As Micah parked his car, Penny talking at the speed of light about something to him, Simon couldn't help the excited grin from taking over his face. Baz watched the window the entire trip, only glancing to his boyfriend as Simon squeezed his fingers in excitement. Honestly, Baz thought, he gets excited over the smallest things. Though, he would never change it.

It wasn't until they were all suiting up, velcroing the light sensor vests to each other, that Simon's first realized how bad of an idea this was. After all, Baz could see in the dark. He would have an unfair advantage. After they were placed on their respective teams, Baz and Micah on red while him and Penny were on blue, Simon made his worries known. Penny scoffed at him, rolling her eyes as she smiled at him.

"Simon," she stated slightly condescendingly. "This is a game, not an actual battle. I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides, there'll be lights flashing and loud noises, I'm sure he'll be just as disoriented as the rest of us." Simon stuck his bottom lip out, glancing at Baz as him and Micah held a conversation.

"But Penny," Simon whined. "He's evil." Penny laughed. Laughed! Simon scowled at her as she continued to snort, doubling over as she clutched her stomach.

"You've been dating the man for two years now!" She exclaimed between laughs. "I don't think you can call him evil anymore!" Baz watched them with a raised eyebrow, causing Simon to turn red slightly, glaring.

"You're going down, Pitch!" Simon exclaimed, holding tightly to the plastic gun attached to his vest. Baz rolled his eyes crossing his arms.

"Please, Snow. Like you're going to beat me. You can't make it through the living room in the dark, let alone an obstacle course. You'll be shot twenty times within the first ten minutes." Baz countered, smirking. Slowly, Simon raised the gun and pulled the trigger, a 'pew' noise emanating from it before Baz's vest made a harsh buzzing noise.

"Oops," Simon said monotone with a grin. "My finger slipped." Baz's smirk flattened as he raised an eyebrow, giving Simon an unamused look.

The person working for the facility rolled her eyes, snapping her gum. "Please wait until the course opens to start firing."

Simon gave her a sheepish look.

———

By the time they were all out in the dark of the course, Simon and Penny were working offensively, having laid out a plan with the rest of their team. As Penny and Simon made their way through the course, keeping an eye out for anyone with a glowing red chest plate, they searched for their respective significant others.

Simon was dead set on showing Baz up. And nothing was going to stop him from beating him. Nothing.

Penny's gun went off, and further in the dark someone let out a disgruntled groan over the sound of the heavy music playing. She leaned close to Simon, trying her best to stay quiet but still speak over the music. "Baz is over in that corner!"

"How do you know?" He asked, looking over the the maze of walls with cutout to see though that she had gestured to. She shot him a look, shooting at someone up top.

"Because I saw him head off that way when they left. I doubt he would leave cover unless he had a reason." Simon rolled his eyes at her but didn't disregard her words. Quickly, he crouched and ran through the obstacles, shooting at any red he saw. Adrenaline pumped through him as he grinned. Penny's strategy was genius.

As he rounded the last corner, Simon found Baz crouched, looking out over the course from a rather large cut out. His gun was aimed out, shooting any blue he saw. At one point, a loud shout echoed around that was obviously Penny as no one else would let out such a noise.

Simon allowed himself a moment to watch Baz focus on his enemies, a small smirk pulling at his lips. Simon swore he fell even more in love with the man each time he saw him.

Simon quickly shook the thought from his head. No, he wasn't allowed to do that right then. He had a mission. As he crept forward, Baz his attention from the wall suddenly, but not in time. Simon was quick to press him to the wall, crushing his lips against Baz's furiously.

At first, Baz was startled but quickly succumbed as Simon started doing that thing with his chin, almost melting him into a puddle. Simon pulled away, Baz trailing after him, both panting. Though, as Simon grinned, Baz furrowed his brow just in time for the sound of Simon's gun going off and Baz's chest plate buzzing. It was too late by the time Baz realized what had happened, having dropped his gun at some point during the kiss.

Simon pressed a quick peck to Baz's lips before grinning and rushing off. Leaving Baz to gap after him. "That's cheating!" Baz exclaimed, rushing out after him. "Get back here, Snow!"

———

Needless to say, the blue team won, leaving Simon and Penny preening in pride. As they all sat down to eat, Baz rolled his eyes.

"You only won because you cheated." He stated, lacing his fingers with Simon's. Penny rolled her eyes from under Micah's arm.

"Oh please," she exclaimed, leaning forward. "You're just upset that you didn't come up with as great of a strategy as me." Baz scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

"Who was top of the class?" He asked. She scowled, glaring at him.

"We both know I would've been if Simon didn't attract trouble such as yourself." Baz laughed, making Simon smile lightly.

Simon thought there'd be no one he'd rather be with than Basilton. He was glad that they'd gotten together, and had never regretted it for a moment. He thought it was silly that something as juvenile as laser tag could elicit such a strong response, but it just made sense to him.


	2. Flower Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's much to be deciphered in the meaning of a flower.

Baz raised an eyebrow, watching as Simon wandered in, drifting around the isles. "Anything you're looking for in particular there, Snow?"

Simon hummed, glancing back at him before smiling. "I'll know when I find it."

Baz rolled his eyes, picking back up the book he had. He got less than a page read before a shadow fell over his book. He closed it with a sigh, leveling Simon with a bored look. Simon just spread his lips, flashing a blinding smile. Baz raised an eyebrow, picking up the single flower Simon had set down.

"This it?" He asked, a little surprised. It was different than Simon's usual choices. Instead of being some loud statement, it was a single red tulip.

Simon smiled, nodding and not losing his smile. As much as Baz tried to ignore it, he couldn't disperse the hurt that shot through his chest at seeing the flower. After all, a red tulip means a declaration of love. Baz quickly rang it up, quietly telling Simon the price. Simon paid, and picked up the flower, but didn't move from the counter.

Baz quirked an eyebrow at him. He started to open his mouth and say something, but Simon beat him to it.

"I bet you're wondering who I'm giving this to, aren't you?" Simon asked, twirling the flower between his fingers.

Baz did his best to school his features, not letting his inner turmoil shine though. "Not particularly," he monotoned. Simon dropped his grin for half a second before pulling it back up. But that half a second was all it took for Baz to want to take back the comment. He didn't though, just raised an eyebrow. "But, I assume you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you?"

Somehow, Simon's grin got bigger. He held the flower out, his fingers gently clutching the stem. Baz's eyes widened, looking from the flower back to Simon. "I read somewhere that the tulip means perfect lover. The red in particular means declaration of love." Baz's eyes widened further, looking from the flower back to Simon again. "I'm not the best with words," Simon admitted, his grin turning sheepish. "So I thought flowers would do it better."

Baz felt his insides melt at Simon's words. If it wasn't for the fact he would be completely humiliated by it, he would have melted right through his shoes.

Gingerly, Baz plucked the flower from Simon, giving him one of his rare smiles. Simon's smile widened, his face lighting up with the sheer joy.

"I'll pick you up at six?" He asked, pink tinging his ears and cheeks. Baz didn't trust himself to reply, so he nodded instead. Simon gave a small, giddy laugh, before turning and walking out of the shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated writing the summary of this so much, I apologize.


	3. Paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon gets a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really know how to end this, so imma end it here and probably come back at some point and add. Sorry that it’s a little abrupt.

When Simon first received the gift, he wasn't completely sure what to do with it. He gave Penny's mom a grin and a hug anyway though, for he was still happy that they thought of him.

"It'll help to have some hobbies," Penny had said when they had gotten home. Simon had blustered that he did have hobbies, but a raised eyebrow from Baz shut him up.

Now, looking at the colors on his palette, he thought it was possibly the best gift he'd ever received. Now, instead of disaster left in his wake, there was small splotches of yellows and greens. His clothes no longer had smoking holes from going off, now there were stains and brush marks. His room now smelled like acrylic paint, bergamot and cedar, not smoke and things burning.

And as Baz laid before him, pale back exposed as Simon spun the paintbrush in his fingers. Gently, he began to mix colors, mentally planning what to paint across his sleeping canvas.

Smiling to himself, Simon guided the bristles across Baz's cold skin, leaving bright colors in his wake. At first contact, Baz's back clenched at the cold pain, humming in disapproval before sighing as Simon pressed his lips to Baz's neck. Quietly, Simon went back to work, spreading the colors and pressing tenderness into each stroke of the brush.

He hummed to himself as he worked, brush going from skin to palette to skin to water. He worked methodically, watching as the picture took form. A large flower slowly bloomed from Baz's hip to across his opposite shoulder blade. The blues and pinks stood out from the pale skin, glowing almost.

Simon thought it was one of the most beautiful sights.

Baz had slowly found himself waking, but couldn't find it in himself to actually move. The feel of the paint moving across his skin was welcoming, though not asked for, and Simon's humming lulled him into a sense of peace and reassurance. Occasionally one of Simon's fingers would trail across an unpainted section, the heel of his hand bumping his back as he made details.

Baz would never admit it, but he loved when he would wake to this. He would pretend to be asleep sometimes as Simon worked, so he wouldn’t feel bad about keeping Baz in one spot for long periods of time. Baz didn’t mind, though. More often than not, Baz would want to roll over, pull Simon down on top of him and pepper him in kisses to express his fondness for him.

He never would though, to keep Simon working, knowing it was helping keep his mind at ease.


	4. Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IF BAZ JUST LIKE, REALLY LIKED FISH.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Every time I get on?? I have more hits??? What???? I can’t believe people actually read this, but thank you for doing so.
> 
> Anyway, happy reading!

Baz looked especially apprehensive today, which was odd to come home to. It almost looked like he hadn't moved from the couch where I left him that morning for class, but that couldn't possibly be true, because Baz had class also. I hung my coat up on the ridiculous coat rack that both Baz and Penny insisted upon. ("Really, Simon, where else are we going to put our coats on rainy days?" Penny asked incredulously. I had stared at her for a moment, before replying. "Our closets?" Baz had scoffed at my statement before picking it up and carrying it to the check out.)

Kicking my shoes off next to the rack, I flopped onto the couch next to Baz, who was staring at his computer with wide eyes. "Wow," I commented, leaning my head back. "No, 'hello, love' or anything. Don't I feel loved."

Baz gave a noncommittal noise, a halfhearted greeting as he scrolled through his computer. I frowned at him as Penny slunk out of her room, dark bags under her eyes and an empty mug clutched in her hands. She glanced at us before wrinkling her nose slightly.

"I wouldn't try. He hasn't moved all day. Didn't even say hello when I came in." She let out a yawn, pouring herself some water from the kettle. "At this point I don't even know if he's alive. I think he muttered something about fish at one point." She explained, leaning against the counter. Baz looked up at her with a frown.

"I can hear you, you know." He muttered before looking back to his screen.

"He spoke!" I exclaimed, grinning as he sent me a distracted glare. I bumped my arm into his, making his finger slid across the mouse pad. "What have you been doing all day? Did you even go to class?" He blew some of his hair out of his face, looking up at me finally. I smiled at how his eyes immediately softened.

"Yes, I did go to class. I'm not about to let my grades slip, I've worked too hard to keep them up." I rolled my eyes. Of course. "But," he sighed, "if you must know, I'm engaging in a rigorous battle against Sharkira35." Penny froze as she went to grab the screaming kettle, slowly turning to look at him. I stared at him. Sharkira? 35? What? What does that even mean? He rolled his eyes, looking back to his screen.

Penny looked at me, just as confused as I felt.

"Battle, of what?" Penny slowly asked. I was nervous to know, and Penny looked like she was too. Baz slowly drug his gaze away from the computer, looking at her disinterestedly.

“Buying a Peppermint Anglefish.” He responded plainly. Penny slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes lighting up as giggles bubbles out. He frowned at her, turning back to his screen again.

He’s buying a fish.

A fish.

A fish.

He spent all day trying to buy, a fish. Despite having known Baz for many years, I realize I know nothing about him.

“A, fish?” I ask. It was still hard to process that Baz liked fish. I mean, he hated the merwolves. Absolutely despised them, but here he is, buying a peppermint whateverfish. He narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, Snow, a fish. A rare fish, matter of fact.” He spit. I stared at him, trying to wrap my head around the image of him cleaning a fish aquarium. He just stared back, sneering at me, with an almost challenging look in his eye. “Do you have a problem with fish?” He asked sharply.

I furrowed my brow, sputtering. “Well- no- I just- you? And fish? It’s just- I dont-“ he cut me off.

“Spit it out, Snow.”

I frowned at him, my hand clenching automatically. Between gritted teeth, I ground out an, “I just don’t see you owning fish.”

He slowly raised an eyebrow, giving me a look that made me feel like a six year old that said something they didn’t understand and was vaguely inappropriate. It was worse when him and Penny both gave me the look.

“I have to agree with Simon on this one, Baz.” Penny, here to save my ass again. Baz slowly turned to her, a frown on his face. “Fish just don’t seem like your type.” He scowled at her as she turned and poured water into her mug.

A chime from his computer brought his attention back to it, his eyes lighting up as he ferociously tapped his keyboard. Slowly, a grin spread across his face, a self satisfied look settling in his eyes. He slowly closed his computer and set it on the coffee table, leaning back. Penny sipped her tea.

“I assume you got the fish?” She asked. His grin never faded as he replied.

“Of course.”

I frowned slightly. “Do you even have an aquarium?”

He rolled his head over to me as well as his eyes. “Of course I do, Snow. What am I going to do, buy a fish and keep it in the sink?”

I scowled, making him grin larger. He reached out and took my hand, bringing it up to his lips.

“Since you seemed so desperate for my attention when you got home.” He explained, his voice lower. I felt my face flush as he slowly leaned closer.

“And that’s my que to leave,” Penny exclaimed, grabbing her mug and shuffling full throttle back to her room. The door slammed, making Baz chuckle.

“Never gets old,” he quietly iterated, pressing his cold lips to my forehead for a quick moment before standing. He wandered into the kitchen, getting himself a mug. I couldn’t help but follow him. (It seemed this was a trend.)

As he poured water into the mug, I wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his shoulder.

“What are you going to name it?” I asked. He hummed, rumbling through him and into me. Slowly, he ran a hand over my arm before interlacing our fingers.

“What about the name Snow?” He asked quietly, turning his head to gaze at me. I couldn’t fight the oncoming wave of heat, spreading from my chest to my ears, making me bury half my face in his shoulder.

“‘T’s not bad,” I mumble, glaring at him lightly. He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. (He’s taller by about three inches. The tosser.)

“Then it shall be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, fish. They’re pretty great. I got the idea after I saw a post on tumblr for Baz and he had fish swimming around and I just kinda though ‘huh, what if he was a fish freak like me’ and it kind just, happened.
> 
> Also, if you have any ideas or (almost) anything you want me to write, feel free to put it in the comments or find me on tumblr! It’s the same username and icon.


	5. Oliver

The door opened, an unsuspecting Penny sitting on the couch as Baz was standing at the counter, typing up a paper. Simon tried his best to come in quietly, his arms clutching a blanket in his arms as he shivered. Baz glanced over his shoulder, Penny not even bothering to look away from her book as she hummed in greeting.

"You're home early," Baz stated, turning back. His typing didn't even slow. That was, until he processed what he saw. His fingers froze, slowly turning his body to face Simon. His eyes narrowed in on the blanket quaking in his arms. "Love," Baz slowly ground out. "What's in the blanket?" Simon gave him a sheepish smile, his arms slightly tightening on the bunch.

"In my defense," Simon started, glancing down at the ratted blanket, "I couldn't just leave him there defenseless. It's freezing out!" Baz narrowed his eyes further as Penny finally looked up.

"What's in the blanket, Snow?"

Simon's sheepish look deepened as he looked up. "I think you know."

Slowly, he shifted his grip, pulling the blanket away some as a small, pink nose popped up, followed by grey ears and bright but panicked eyes. A mewl escaped its pink mouth, shivers wracking it from head to tail. Penny gasped, jumping up from the couch, her book landing hard on the table.

"Simon!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. Baz stood frozen at the counter, his grey eyes focused in on the grey eyes staring back. Simon smiled at the creature, looking up nervously.

"He was all alone! I couldn't just let him die! He's just a kitten!" Simon rebutted. Penny made her way over slowly, they cat watching her. Gently, she held a hand out, which it sniffed before nuzzling as purrs interrupted its shivering. "He needs a home," he quietly continued. "And I could relate with him." An icy shard slowly worked its way out of Baz's heart, softening at his boyfriends words.

Baz sighed, cradling his forehead as he took a deep breath. "Can we keep him?" Simon quietly asked, looking from Penny to Baz. "He's going to need a home anyway. Why not ours?"

Penny looked back over her shoulder at Baz, who watched his boyfriend give him such hopeful looks, that Baz would have said yes to anything he had asked. 

It was like that night all over again.

But over a cat.

A stupid, mangy, dirty kitten that was staring at him with wide eyes. Wide grey eyes.

"Fine." Baz relented, dropping his arms as a grin as bright as the sun broke out over Simon's face. "But he's going to the vet immediately. And he needs a bath." Simon rushed across the flat, his eyes bright as he slid to a stop in front of Baz, pressing a kiss to his lips that he hoped expressed how grateful he was.

"Thank you," Simon whispered against his lips, but flying to the bathroom, the door closing and water running moments later. Baz sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Penny grinned knowingly, a sharp glint in her eye.

"You're whipped." She laughed, going back to her spot on the couch. Baz glared at her, turning back to his computer with a scowl.

"Please, Bunce, don't state the obvious."

\---

Later that night, crawling into bed after a stressful day, Baz collapsed under the covers. He just wanted the warm embrace of his boyfriend to surround him and the soft touches of sleep to finish him off.

After Simon had given the kitten a bath, he opened the door as the creature slowly made its way from the room, eyes peering closely at everything. It's white fur poofed out around it, it's grey tail swishing in the air above him. Simon was calling out encouragingly for him to explore, saying he was going to get him proper necessities tomorrow, but for now would have to make due.

Simon shuffled into his room, shedding his shirt and changing his trousers. He let out a loud yawn, chasing away any sleep that had almost captured Baz. The bed creaked as Simon settled into it, a soft mewling following. Simon gently chuckled, his weight shifting as he picked up the kitten and set it on the bed. It explored it's new territory, and Baz let out a groan as it walked across his stomach.

"Does it have to sleep in here?" Baz asked, his voice gravely. Simon chuckled as he settled himself into the bed, his arms wrapping around Baz and dragging him close.

"Yes, he does," Simon muttered into his ear. "Oliver is family now. He can sleep wherever he wants. And where he wants to sleep happens to be with us." Baz rolled his eyes, watching in the dark as the cat let out a yawn.

"You're a sap." Baz grumbled. Simon's chuckle vibrated through him.

"Hypocrite."

Just as Baz was starting to fall back asleep, something bumped into his arm, making him startle awake. Oliver, as Simon had stated earlier in the evening, ("Why Oliver?" Penny had asked. Simon shrugged, holding the kitten close and rubbing its head. "I like the name. Besides, I feel like it suits him. Don't you?" Baz rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly.), was watching him with tired, expecting eyes. Baz let out a grumble, lifting his arm as the kitten weaseled its way close to his chest. It purred so loud Baz wondered how something so small could emit such a loud sound.

If Baz were to be completely honest though, he felt himself grow attached to the ball of purring fluff. With the gentle rise and fall of Simon's chest to his back, and the sounds of contentment from the creature in front of him, Baz thought himself the luckiest he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm aware it's fairly short, but hey, short and to the point right? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it because I enjoyed writing it and it is purely self indulgent.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank's so much for reading, I will post, but inconsistently and I apologize for that, but hey, I'm trying. *Finger guns with a wink*


End file.
